The divorce rate is so high partially because many couples just are no longer willing to save their marriages. It can take a lot of hard work to save a marriage. You can’t expect a miracle overnight, but if you invest time and hard work into your marriage, you should be able to save it.

Your significant other must be willing to work just as hard, of course. Step one is to recognize your faults and for your significant other to do the same. Instead of pointing fingers at each other, you and your lover should admit to your own mistakes and flaws.

Here are additional ideas for you, once you’ve gotten over that first hurdle:

• Be more tolerant of one another. If your spouse says you’re over-critical, try to change that. Request that s/he does the same. Avoid arguing over things that are no longer important like snoring, too much time in the bathroom, loud music, and so forth.

• If you cheated on your partner, ask what you can do to earn trust and forgiveness. If your partner cheated on you, be clear about what you want. You both should be open about what is expected to earn forgiveness.

• Be absolutely certain before you confront your husband/wife with cheating if you suspect it. Whatever the way you choose to catch your spouse cheating, make sure you’re correct. If you use methods which might seem unethical, such as hidden surveillance, your significant other might become angry. If you are caught snooping, have good reason to be doing so.

• Try thinking rationally. Even if you’re heartbroken over your spouse’s cheating, you should still try to think logically. If you find yourself losing your temper when you’re around your significant other, try writing a letter instead of yelling.

• Seek expert advice. While friends and family can offer gems of advice here and there, they are not professionals. An expert is best, since friends and family are more likely only to guess at what they would do, rather than what should be done. Encourage your spouse to visit a counselor.

• Try changing things around – instead of arguing around the house, go see a movie. Why not take a nice vacation together? Or start all over and revisit the places you went to when you were falling in love. Think about the things that made your spouse fall in love with you and do them again.

• Don’t exclude your lover from decision making. This works well if you’ve been accused of neglecting  your significant other. As partners, you’re supposed to make decisions together.

• Arguing about decisions is OK if it is not taken too far. Let your lover know your thoughts and opinions without arguing or becoming condescending about it. Both of you should act like adults!

A lasting marriage is one full of respect and openness. Respect your differences and be open with your partner. These ideas can help you stop a break up and be able to say I was able to stop my divorce!

 

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